A ginger's story

As yesterday was the 3 month anniversary of Howard Fisher's Death, I thought it would be appropriate to post a letter I wrote about Howard before he died. In the letter I was convinced that God would heal him physically, but I now realize that God had bigger plans for Howard. And that Howard would still make an impact even after his death.

"Looking back at the last semester I now realize what an excellent opportunity it has been to play with all the seniors especially Howard. It really has been a blessing to have not only played with Howard, but also get to know him, and really create an awesome friendship. When I look at Howard, I don’t just see a huge Jamaican smile, but a man who is destined to do great things in life. I feel as if God has something big planned for Howard, and he will heal him from this disease. As Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint”. Howard will walk and not be faint. God will raise Him up."

So God did raise him up, just not the way I thought! Praise His name!

So my first year of college is almost over! I find that so crazy to me that I AM ALMOST DONE being a freshmen! So with about two weeks left of school, I am not looking back at all that happened this freshmen year.

With that said here is a speech I gave in front of the Board of Visitors along with the President of the College, that somewhat sums up my spiritual journey:

I would first like to welcome our honorary guests, Dr. Struble, members of the Advancement and Alumni Offices, and my fellow colleagues. When I look out into this room I find it simply amazing that everyone here right now has had some sort of impact in my life here at Montreat College. You might be wondering, “How could I impact someone I have just met?” Well the fact that you are apart of the Montreat College community means that you have, in some way, been a part of shaping who I am, which makes me deeply grateful for each and everyone here today.

The Definition of the word scholarship is, “a sum of money or other aid granted to a student, because of merit, need, etc .,to pursue his or her studies.” When it says, “to pursue his or her studies” that speaks volumes. Because if you think about it, when someone gives a scholarship, they are giving away free money to assist someone is pursuing their studies. The definition fails to mention that scholarships also help students pursue their dreams. I think we can all come to the conclusion that college is not cheap, and when you come from a family of three other kids, it doesn’t get cheaper. This is why the Board of Visitor’s Scholarship is so important to me personally. At this point I am currently paying at least half if not more of my college tuition off with loans. This means that scholarships, such as the one I have received from the Board of Visitors, mean so much more to me. But the Board of Visitors Scholarship is more than just an envelope with money in it. It is another sign of where God wants me to be right now in my life.

When Mrs. Rogers asked me to share, I immediately thought back to June 11, 2001. Not only is that the day of my sister’s birthday, but it’s the last time I have ever spoken in front of people. You see, this particular day, I was going to be baptized. And so at age 10, I publically declared at my church, that I was putting the world behind me, and the cross before me. From that point till October of last year, I have watched as the world crept back from behind me, and came about before me. To put it plainly, I was worshiping two gods. I attempted to put the World and the Cross both before me, which I found out later, does not work! In attempting to do this, I became the thing I swore I would not become, a lukewarm Christian. I liked what the world had to offer, but still held on to what I had been taught at an early age by my Christian parents. Oh, how Satan works to deceive us! He knew exactly where I was weak, and attacked me. During my Junior and Senior Year in high school, I became engulfed by the world. I began living three lives; one around my family, one around my church, and one around my friends. It became easier to switch from one life to the next, to lie, and to be a complete hypocrite.

So my Dad did the smartest thing he could have done; he made me sign up for a soccer mission trip to Brazil through the Charlotte Eagles. He new the only way to get me on that plane, was by using soccer, because at this time I really didn’t have a walk with Christ. Instead the only thing, I really honestly cared about was playing soccer. I, in fact, had no desire to go at all, but I did anyways, because I promised him I would. So on July 19th of last year, I hopped on a plane with 30 other kids to Rio de Janeiro. We then spent the next 2 weeks using soccer as a tool to share the gospel. During my trip in Brazil, I was really able to see how God works all over the world. After the trip was over, I expected to go on living my life, like the trip had never happened. And so I flew back home, unpacked, washed all my clothes, and then repacked for preseason and college, never thinking God had other plans for me.

As preseason went by, I began to build a solid relationship with Stephen Jackson. He became more than just my captain and teammate, but my big brother. Still unaware that God was at work, I began my first year of college. As the first month went by I began to meet more students, at which I began to grow closer relationships with. I then began to realize that there was something else at work here. I knew in my head, that God was trying to do a work in my life, but I didn’t want to accept it in my heart. I was being the same stubborn kid I had always been, and what it boiled down to was that I did not want to accept what I knew in my head. I knew I was supposed to be at Montreat for a reason, the only problem was that I wasn’t accepting God into that picture I had created for myself.

Then one afternoon in October, everything came together. My life in high school, my experience in Brazil, my new relationships with Christian brothers and sisters, and the new atmosphere of college, all made me realize that there is more to life than the flashing lights of this world. For so long, I struggled with letting go of the desires of this world, because I was afraid of becoming a “Jesus Freak”. But in my small dorm room, I knew felt a burning in my heart to be that “Jesus Freak”. I just had to let go of the stubbornness in me, and let God take control of my life. And so, I told God that I was done with this stubborn life. I was done with living the in-between Christian life and that I wanted to be on fire for God constantly. I no longer wanted to live this lukewarm Christian, but a full time Christian.

I then realized in my heart why God had placed me here at Montreat College. He wanted to use Montreat, so that Montreat could in turn use me later on. What Montreat College has provided for me is something you don’t find in most colleges here in America. Montreat College has provided a place where I have had an opportunity to grow as a Man, as a Christian, and as a Student. Montreat has given me more than just an opportunity to grow. I have learned through people like my Coach, Hub Powell, and many other faculty, what it means to be a true mature man. I have learned how to grow as a stronger Christian, through the example of some close friends that I have made here at Montreat. I have also learned that academic excellence is not just something that the student wants, but even the school. And lastly, I have learned through the loss of Howard Fisher, what it means to have a family away from home. I think it’s very obvious that God has used Montreat College to change my life, which is why I am so grateful for all that are present tonight. Right now, you are impacting not just the next generation of workers in America, but the next generation of Christian workers in America.